Another week, another Mama Guilt Monday, courtesy of Cop Mama. See the MckLinky at the bottom of this post to link up.

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Here’s today’s optional prompt:

Picky Eaters: What Do YOU Do?

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Here’s mine:

Ooooooooh!!  This is a good one!  I feel a whole lotta mama guilt concerning the eating habits of my girls. 

My girls were good little eaters when they were weaning.  They would eat a wide variety of fruit, vegetables and meat in puree form, as well as lots of finger foods, such as toast, bananas, rice cakes, cheese, cucumber.

However, as the months and years have progressed, the girls have become increasingly fussier.  They now eat only a small selection of foods, many of them not the healthiest options.  Their favourite meal is fish and chips with baked beans, and when we are eating out they ALWAYS choose this dish!

They now point blank refuse to eat any vegetables apart from potatoes, baked beans and very occasionally carrots or peas.  The only meat they eat is battered or breadcrumbed fish, chicken and turkey. Rachel will eat minced beef in a bolognaise sauce, but Sophie  won’t.  Sophie will eat sausages, but Rachel won’t. 

The only way I can salvage their diet is by making sure they eat plenty of fruit.  They eat apples, tangerines, grapes, strawberries, bananas and raisins.  They have a piece of fruit at playtime at school, and two or three pieces of fruit with their lunch.

However, I was dismayed that, after a dental hygiene talk at their after school club, they now believe that eating too much fruit will cause cavities!  I know this is technically true, but you’d have to eat a lot more acidic fruit than they currently do, and not brush their teeth.  I have tried to emphasise that eating fruit is better for their teeth than sweets, cakes and sugary drinks.

I do feel a lot of mama guilt regarding the girls’ diet.  I feel that me being a working mum contributes to their poor eating habits.  Had I been responsible for all their meals and snacks over the years, I might have been able to be stricter with their diet.  However, time spent with family members, who have perhaps relented to my daughters’ whims, has meant that the girls have developed poorer eating habits than I would have liked.

I must stress though, that I am not, in any way, trying to blame my inlaws for my daughters’ poor eating habits.   Instead, I am blaming myself for not being a fulltime mum, who has plenty of time and energy to devote to the task of ensuring the girls eat a full and varied diet.

Nevertheless, I’m hoping that they will learn to try more new things, as they grow older.

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I was dismayed at yesterday’s news report which stated that children of working mothers are less healthy than those of stay at home mums.  A study claims that children whose mothers work are less likely to lead healthy lives than those with “stay at home” mothers.

Findings of the Institute of Child Health study of more than 12,500 five-year-olds include:

Diet – The study found that five-year-olds whose mothers worked part-time or full-time were more likely to consume sweetened drinks between meals.  37%  of the children surveyed were mainly eating crisps and sweets between meals.  41% of the children were consuming sweetened drinks.

Sedentary Activities – The study found that children of working mothers used their computers or watched television for at least two hours a day compared to the children of “stay at home” mothers who spent less than two hours on these activities.

Exercise – Children of working mothers were also more likely to be driven to school compared to the children of “stay at home” mothers who tended to walk or cycle.

The children whose mothers had a flexible working pattern did have healthier lifestyles but when other factors were taken into account the researchers said there was little evidence that these children behaved more healthily.

Other experts said more work was needed to see if the results applied to other age groups.

As a working mum myself, this news depresses me, and reinforces the guilt that I carry with me every day and share with practically every other working mum.

I was fortunate enough to enjoy a full year off after having my twin daughters.  I then returned to work on a part-time basis (21 hours per week), while my wonderful in-laws looked after the girls.  Less than a year later, I gave up my commute to Glasgow to work a stone’s throw away from my house for just 17.5 hours per week.  I did this job for two years, before taking a full-time promoted post, which was still a short walk from my home, not long before the girls’ fourth birthday.  I still work there today on flexible hours, which suits my busy lifestyle.

I would love to be able to give up my job and become a full-time work at home mum (WAHM), rather than just a stay at home mum (SAHM).  I would certainly like to reduce my hours again sometime in the near future.  However, with my husband working in the construction industry, in this current depressing economic climate, it would be foolish for me to reduce my income.

News articles criticising working mums seem to crop up every couple of months or so and, quite frankly I’m getting thoroughly fed up with them.  In my opinion, such articles serve only to place further stresses and strains on women who are already stretched to the limit.

It also angers me that the emphasis is always on working mothers, rather than merely ‘working parents‘.  Why is it expected that a man’s career will carry on as normal after the birth of a child, whereas women are scrutinised for their career choices (whatever they choose to do!) after having children.

Professor Catherine Law, who led the Institute of Child Health study, said they had not looked at fathers in this study because fathers employment levels had not changed whereas the numbers of working mothers had increased dramatically.

She said: “For many families the only parent or both parents will be working.
“Time constraints may limit parents’ capacity to provide their children with healthy foods and opportunities for physical activity.
“Our results do not imply that mothers should not work.
“Rather they highlight the need for policies and programmes to help support parents.”

As far as the diet of my daughters is concerned, both were great eaters when weaning.  However, it pains me to say that they have evolved into a pair of fussy eaters and, in low periods, I find that I blame myself for their eating habits.  I’ve often concluded that if I had been around more, I could have ensured that they would have eaten a healthier and more varied diet.  However, friends, family, health visitors and nursery staff have insisted that I am not to blame.  My daughters are healthy and happy, and I am assured that they’ll eventually start being more adventurous with their diet if I just persevere.

I would like to stress, at this point, that I am in no way blaming my in-laws for my daughters’ poor eating habits.  However, it has to be said that Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles tend to enjoy indulging the girls a little more than my husband and I do.  Hubby and I have a strict “No Desert Unless You Finish Your Meal” rule, which I know that other family members find hard to enforce.

As far as the other aspects of the study go, I do not think my girls watch more TV than those of stay at home mums.  On the contrary, I believe that my girls actually watch less, because they don’t spend as much time at home.  Three evenings each week, they are at After School Care for a couple of hours, where they enjoy playing and drawing.  When they are home, they have homework to do, dinner to eat, bath time, etc.

As for getting to and from school, I manage to walk them to school most mornings.  I only take the car if the weather is particularly bad, or if I have a meeting or appointment outwith my home town.

Glenys Jones, nutritionist with the Medical Research Council Human Nutrition Research, said the study was interesting because of limited research so far on the impact of maternal employment on child health choices.

A Department of Health spokesman said: “Our Change4Life movement is already helping over 370,000 families eat well, move more and live longer by helping them to understand the harm that fat and added sugar can cause to children’s health, and offering them simple yet effective ways to make changes to their diet and increase their activity levels.”
What do you think?  Are you a working mum, a stay at home mum or a work at home mum?  Do you agree with the findings of the study?  Are you worried that the study is referring to your child?

You can read more about this news article on the BBC News website.

You may also be interested in this recent Mamma Kerr post: