When I was pregnant with my twin girls, Hubby and I joined The Twins and Multiple Birth Association (TAMBA) for help and advice on raising twins.   It’s a great organisation for parents of multiples and I would recommend that all UK parents expecting multiples, or who have young multiples, check out their fabulous resources online and enquire about joining.

When the girls were two years old, we went to a TAMBA event at Blair Drummond Safari Park, near Stirling.  Unfortunately, it was a typical Scottish summers day – i.e. pouring with rain!!  However, there was a marquee set up with refreshments and entertainment under cover.  It was strange to see so many twins, triplets and more, not only in the marquee, but also throughout the entire safari park.  I’m quite sure that other day trippers must have thought they were seeing double!! 

It was also great to have the opportunity to chat with other parents of multiples and share experiences and tips.

Sadly the following few years, we were unable to attend the annual events, as they clashed with other committments.

TwinHappyJen is organising an online annual event for parents of twins in August this year.  The event is called Twinstock, and there will be fabulous giveaways from Twinstock sponsors.  Please visit the Twinstock site to find out more.

Please visit TwinHappy to link up with your Twin Tuesday post.

I like to take part in Jennifer Miller’s fun meme from her Twin Happy blog – Twin Tuesday.

Twin Tuesday QOTW: What Are Your Favourite Warm Weather Activities With Your Twins?

• Playing in the garden – The girls have plenty of outdoor toys to keep them busy: swings, slides, trampoline, seesaw, sand pit, playhouse, etc.  We also have a huge lawn for them to run about and play.  Our pet bunnies also live in our garden.  The girls love to spend time with them, feeding them, petting them and talking to them.  They also enjoy helping out in the garden, by planting seeds and watering the plants and flowers.
• Going for walks – We’re lucky enough to live in beautiful Stirlingshire in Scotland.  We have a river and country paths near our home, and we like to spend time walking and exploring, taking photos and spotting plants and creatures.  When the girls were babies, I enjoyed going for walks along the riverbank, pushing their big heavy twin pram.  This was great physical exercise for me, helping to shift my baby weight.  It was also good for my mental well-being.
• Feeding the ducks – We like to visit country parks to feed the ducks and swans with our leftover bread.
• Going for a bike ride – I like to take the girls out on their little bikes.  They enjoy cycling along the paths near our home.  We usually go over the river to the neighbouring village to buy drinks and snacks from the little corner shop, then we have a wee rest before heading back home.  The girls are quite competitive, and so like to race each other.  Their little bikes still have stabilisers on them, but Hubby and I are keen for them to learn how to cycle without them soon.  I’m ashamed to admit that I cannot ride a bike.  I really want my girls to be proficient cyclists.
• Visiting the swing park – Even though we have outdoor toys in our garden, the girls still love to visit swing parks.  Their favourite parks to visit are: one in Stirling (not far from the hospital), with a tall helter-skelter slide and a fantastic climbing frame; one in Palacerigg Country Park in Cumbernauld; the adventure playpark  in Callendar Park, Falkirk.

The Big to Separate or Not to Separate Debate

My non-identical twin girls are just finishing their first year at primary school, and they are in the same class.  I was asked what I would prefer before they started and I requested that they be in the same class but different groups.  They are actually in a P1/2 composite class, where they share a class/teacher with older kids.  If I had split them, I would have had one girl in the P1 class and one in the P1/2 class.  I didn’t think it fair that one would have (what I see as) the advantage of mixing with, and learning from, the older kids.

In their first year at nursery they were in the same group, but the following year they were split into separate groups.  This didn’t go down well initially, but they ended up thriving in their individual groups.

As someone who was picked on at school for wearing glasses, I feel comforted that my girls have each other as they go through school.  As it happens, my girls seem to be very popular, not just with their classmates, but also with the older kids.  Long may that continue!…

Did you have any complications in your twin pregnancy?

I was told from the outset that my twin pregnancy was “high risk”, but I never really gave it much thought.  Fortunately my twins were in separate sacks with their own placenta, which presented less risks than identical twins who share the same sack and/or placenta.

Thankfully, my pregnancy went very well (apart from common minor complaints such as heartburn, restless legs, back ache, pelvic ache and swollen hands and feet) until my waters broke at 34 weeks.

I was in bed and had just heaved my huge bump from left to right when I heard a loud pop, and a torrent of water was released onto the bed.  I was shocked at the amount of water.  I had no idea that there would be that much!  I was soaked, my jammies were soaked and the mattress was drenched!!

Hubby missed out on this surreal experience because he was working away from home at the time!  (In fact, he was working away through much of my pregnancy and during the first few months of the twins’ lives!)

I did not panic, but immediately went into auto-pilot.  I waddled and squelched my way to the bathroom.  As my waters were still trickling out, I skidded about the bathroom tiles like a hippo on ice!

After showering, I phoned the hospital and was advised to make my way there as soon as possible.  I then phoned my parents, and my mum made her way to my house, as soon as she heard my predicament, to drive me to the hospital.  Before she arrived to collect me, I phoned Hubby and told him to make his way back down to Glasgow (a two and a half hour journey!) ASAP.

When Mum and I arrived at the hospital I was strapped to a monitor, and advised that my doctor was on holiday!  (This was six weeks before my due date remember!)  The midwife told me that she would not be examining me.  I would have to wait for a doctor.  However, all the doctors were currently busy with emergencies.  (Apparently two ladies gave birth in the car park just before I arrived!!)  I was told that the doctor would give me medication to delay labour and to boost my babies’ lungs.

By the time Hubby arrived at the hospital a couple of hours later, I had started feeling contractions (though the midwife didn’t quite believe me!) and felt the need to empty my bowels (though several visits to the bathroom were fruitless!)

Mum went home (reluctantly!) to bed not long after Hubby arrived, and I was given a bed in the ward and a couple of pain killers.  As soon as I laid down on the bed though, my contractions came thick and fast.  Pretty soon, it got so bad that I literally barked at Hubby to go fetch the midwife.

This time the midwife conceded that I was indeed contracting, and assured me that a doctor would come examine me soon.

I was extremely relieved when two doctors eventually arrived to examine me.  However, this relief was short-lived, as the doctors discovered a major complication when examining me internally.  It transpires that a cord was presenting, which could result in a loss of oxygen to Baby 1, and was potentially life-threatening to all three of us.

I was immediately flicked over like a pancake (pretty difficult to do, considering my size!), and I was wheeled off to theatre with my contorted face in a pillow and my backside up in the air!  (How very dignified!  Not!!)  The midwife had her hand pressed firmly between my legs to stop the cord from coming out!  (I was too terrified to be embarrassed by all this!)

When we reached the operating theatre, I could tell that there was about a squillion people in the room.  A doctor told me that I was about to have an emergency caesarean.  I was told that they would attempt a spinal block, but if it didn’t work they would have to knock me out!  This filled me with absolute horror!

“No!  I want to be awake to see my babies!  I don’t want to be put to sleep!”

“We’ll do our best, but our main priority is to get your babies out quickly.”

Fortunately, they managed to get the spinal block in, but I very quickly developed a very painful headache, and felt very queasy.  I actually threw up a couple of times – once before the babies were born, and once in between the birth of the girls!

I only got a brief look at my beautiful girls, before they were whisked off to intensive care, where they only stayed for twenty-four hours, before being moved to the Special Care Baby Unit, where they stayed for just over two weeks.

All in all, we were in hospital for three weeks, and the girls have thrived since getting home five and a half years ago. 

But how about you? Did you suffer any complications during your pregnancy or labour?

Please leave a comment and/or link up on the blog hop below:

I like to participate in Twin Happy Jen’s meme every week, though I haven’t actually done this for a couple of weeks.

This week’s Twin Happy QOTW is:

Do you think you receive more or less help, then if you had had only one baby?

I’m lucky to have a fantastic family support network on hand to help me with my gorgeous girls.  Both sets of grandparents, several aunties and uncles and some family friends have been on standby over the past five and a half years.

When my daughters were first born, my Hubby was working away from home during the week (as he had been throughout most of my pregnancy).  This could have driven many a hormonal mamma of preemie multiples over the edge.  However, I was extrememly lucky that my mum, sister and best friend were willing to take it in turns to come straight to my house from work in the evenings, prepare dinner, help with washing and ironing, and get up through the night with me for the night feeds.  My inlaws would call round every day, during the day to help out too.  I doubt very much that I’d have coped without this support network.

I don’t think parents of multiples get enough help from the government though.  We don’t get adequate child benefit, because we don’t get double money.  We get a smaller payment for our second child, even though they are twins. 

Similarly, we don’t get double maternity pay or extra leave.  I think this is unfair.  Had I given birth to my daughters eighteen months or more apart, I would have had up to a year off for each child (albeit it partly unpaid), and the same full maternity pay each time.

You can read Twin Happy Jen’s answer to the QOTW here.

Twins in the News

A report last week claimed the parents of twins or triplets are more likely to divorce than those with single-born babies. In the Daily Mail on Friday, one woman told how having triplets destroyed her marriage. But writer Amanda Cable, who lives in South-East London with her husband Ray, daughter Ruby, 11, and eight-year-old sons Charlie and Archie, tells how the twins have made them even closer.

Read more here.

“What kind of experiences have you had, that could only happen to a parent of twins?

Twin Happy Jen mentions that she often gets hassle from her insurers when claiming for two lots of the same medicine for her twins.  Apparently the insurance companies get confused with the fact that the children have the same dates of birth!  Crazy!!

Well, I can’t say I’ve ever experienced that problem, living in the UK with our wonderful National Health Service (NHS).  (Jen comes from across the Pond.)

My ‘uniquely twin’ experiences include:

• I got stuck with my huge side-by-side twin pram, while walking under scaffolding, during shop refurbishments in my Town Centre.   The workmen had obviously not set it up properly, as I could safely enter the temporary walkway, and only got stuck when it appeared to narrow mid-way.  It was very embarrassing, frustrating and downright inconvenient.  I had to reverse my pram all the way back (there was no room for a 3-point turn!) and not only that, but there was a queue of people behind me, who all had to retreat back down the walkway!
• Taking twins for their routine injections involves a lot more family/friend intervention than simply taking a single child for their jag.  I have enlisted the help of my wonderful in-laws to all such appointments and we operate with military precision.  The in-laws sit with one child in the waiting room, while I go into the clinic with the other.  If you go alone, the second child gets whiff of what’s going on and is having none of it!  You simply cannot comfort and restrain one child, while distracting the other! 
• Every mother of multiples will agree that the toughest thing in the early days is not knowing which twin to pick up first when both are crying.  It’s not easy!  I remember being distraught in hospital, trying to breastfeed one of my girls, while the other lay crying in her cot!  I soon changed to tandem feeding and it was a far better arrangement (if a little tricky to get started!), which I continued with until they were six months old.  The ‘Who Do I Pick Up First’ dilemma was still a problem, when the twins needed attention during the day or woke at the same time during the night.

However, in spite of the negative points mentioned above, I am ever so grateful to have my gorgeous girls and I feel privileged to be a Mum of twins.  I get double the love, hugs and kisses, as well as being thoroughly entertained by the interaction of my daughters.

Don’t forget to enter my current giveaway to win a preschool puzzle from Barefoot Books.  Visit the relevant post here.