I like to participate in Twin Happy Jen’s meme every week, though I haven’t actually done this for a couple of weeks.

This week’s Twin Happy QOTW is:

Do you think you receive more or less help, then if you had had only one baby?

I’m lucky to have a fantastic family support network on hand to help me with my gorgeous girls.  Both sets of grandparents, several aunties and uncles and some family friends have been on standby over the past five and a half years.

When my daughters were first born, my Hubby was working away from home during the week (as he had been throughout most of my pregnancy).  This could have driven many a hormonal mamma of preemie multiples over the edge.  However, I was extrememly lucky that my mum, sister and best friend were willing to take it in turns to come straight to my house from work in the evenings, prepare dinner, help with washing and ironing, and get up through the night with me for the night feeds.  My inlaws would call round every day, during the day to help out too.  I doubt very much that I’d have coped without this support network.

I don’t think parents of multiples get enough help from the government though.  We don’t get adequate child benefit, because we don’t get double money.  We get a smaller payment for our second child, even though they are twins. 

Similarly, we don’t get double maternity pay or extra leave.  I think this is unfair.  Had I given birth to my daughters eighteen months or more apart, I would have had up to a year off for each child (albeit it partly unpaid), and the same full maternity pay each time.

You can read Twin Happy Jen’s answer to the QOTW here.

Twins in the News

A report last week claimed the parents of twins or triplets are more likely to divorce than those with single-born babies. In the Daily Mail on Friday, one woman told how having triplets destroyed her marriage. But writer Amanda Cable, who lives in South-East London with her husband Ray, daughter Ruby, 11, and eight-year-old sons Charlie and Archie, tells how the twins have made them even closer.

Read more here.

“As a parent of twins, all I really want for the holidays is…”

Twin Happy Jen’s, answer to this questions is…

“All I really want is for my girls to feel the magic of the holidays that I felt growing up. I know a lot of people complain that the holidays are too commercial and all, but I just don’t see it that way. As a child, I was obsessed with presents I would make a hundred copies of my Christmas list, trying to get it just right :-p However, while some would worry about that kind of behavior from a child, thinking they’ll just become selfish, materialistic adults, you must keep one thing in mind: Children are not simply little adults… everything is a learning process for a child. And the primary way that they learn is observing their parent’s actions.

My parents worked very hard each year to make sure we had a great Christmas, even if they didn’t have a lot of money. Now that I’m a parent, I do the same… while it’s always nice to receive gifts, it just isn’t anywhere near as important to me as it was when I was a child. Because, even while caught up in what Barbies or My Little Ponies I wanted each particular year, what was really happening inside of me was this: With each gift, each decoration hung, each trip to see Santa… each way my parents gave of themselves, their time and yes, even money, taught me the true spirit of giving.”

Now for my answer:

“As a parent of twins, all I really want for Christmas is…”

• I want the girls to receive lots of lovely presents from their Christmas List (which is quite detailed for the first time, now that they are five!).  However, this year, Hubby and I are hoping that their presents from the extended family will not be huge bulky plastic contraptions that tend to take over a modest 3-bed semi!
• I want the girls to continue to accept their “Sharing Gifts” without grumbles, and to share them!  (of course!)
• I want the girls to sleep to a civilised hour on Christmas morning!  This has never been a problem in past years, but now they are older and more aware, I fear I might have an early rise this year!
• I want my girls to pose for some lovely family photos over the Christmas period.  (Sometimes they are right little poseurs, but sometimes they point blank refuse to play the game!)
• I want my girls to enjoy the magic of Christmas, the anticipation of Santa Claus and the story of the nativity.  One thing I’ve learned in the past five years is that they grow up far too fast!

“What kind of experiences have you had, that could only happen to a parent of twins?

Twin Happy Jen mentions that she often gets hassle from her insurers when claiming for two lots of the same medicine for her twins.  Apparently the insurance companies get confused with the fact that the children have the same dates of birth!  Crazy!!

Well, I can’t say I’ve ever experienced that problem, living in the UK with our wonderful National Health Service (NHS).  (Jen comes from across the Pond.)

My ‘uniquely twin’ experiences include:

• I got stuck with my huge side-by-side twin pram, while walking under scaffolding, during shop refurbishments in my Town Centre.   The workmen had obviously not set it up properly, as I could safely enter the temporary walkway, and only got stuck when it appeared to narrow mid-way.  It was very embarrassing, frustrating and downright inconvenient.  I had to reverse my pram all the way back (there was no room for a 3-point turn!) and not only that, but there was a queue of people behind me, who all had to retreat back down the walkway!
• Taking twins for their routine injections involves a lot more family/friend intervention than simply taking a single child for their jag.  I have enlisted the help of my wonderful in-laws to all such appointments and we operate with military precision.  The in-laws sit with one child in the waiting room, while I go into the clinic with the other.  If you go alone, the second child gets whiff of what’s going on and is having none of it!  You simply cannot comfort and restrain one child, while distracting the other! 
• Every mother of multiples will agree that the toughest thing in the early days is not knowing which twin to pick up first when both are crying.  It’s not easy!  I remember being distraught in hospital, trying to breastfeed one of my girls, while the other lay crying in her cot!  I soon changed to tandem feeding and it was a far better arrangement (if a little tricky to get started!), which I continued with until they were six months old.  The ‘Who Do I Pick Up First’ dilemma was still a problem, when the twins needed attention during the day or woke at the same time during the night.

However, in spite of the negative points mentioned above, I am ever so grateful to have my gorgeous girls and I feel privileged to be a Mum of twins.  I get double the love, hugs and kisses, as well as being thoroughly entertained by the interaction of my daughters.

Don’t forget to enter my current giveaway to win a preschool puzzle from Barefoot Books.  Visit the relevant post here.